The midterms are over. The yard signs are coming down. And somewhere, a newly-elected official is rehearsing their "I'm just here to serve" face in the bathroom mirror.
Whatever side you woke up on November 4th, one thing is universal: your group chat's political vocabulary needs an upgrade. "They're corrupt" is played out. "Drain the swamp" peaked in 2016. And "okay, boomer" has been on life support since 2019.
It's time for funnier words.
Why your political insults are stale
Most of us recycle the same five putdowns our parents used. But English has been roasting politicians for centuries — and the best ones have been gathering dust in the dictionary while we keep typing "clown" in all caps.
At SwearGiggle, we rescued 73 of the sharpest, funniest, ballot-approved political cusses and made them playable. Here are five to get you started.
1. "A beltway brain in a bubble!" 🧧
A Washington insider with no outside perspective.
For the politician whose closest brush with ordinary life was a constituent town hall they left early. This one's for the newly-elected who are about to discover that "real America" extends beyond the Capitol cafeteria.
2. "An ivory-tower tosspot with a taxpayer-funded reality gap!" 🎩
Out-of-touch politician.
A two-part insult with a built-in receipt. The "taxpayer-funded reality gap" is the part that stings, because you're paying for the disconnect. Send this one to the group chat the next time a hearing goes viral for the wrong reasons.
3. "That's not a scandal; it's a cover-up!" 🕵️
Escalates an accusation by alleging intentional concealment.
Elections settle who's in charge. They don't settle who's been on the take. When the emails come out a year late, this is the phrase that upgrades "interesting" to "accountability." Both sides get to use it. That's the point.
4. "Snollygoster!" 🦎
A shrewd, unprincipled person, especially a politician.
The word they should've taught you in school. It sounds like an insult, it IS an insult, and it's been doing this work since the 1800s. Drop it in a meeting and watch everyone Google it under the table.
5. "Cope harder!" 🪑
Internet slang mocking someone as unable to accept an outcome.
The post-election aftermath's most versatile phrase. Gloating friend? Cope harder. Defeated partisan? Cope harder. Yourself, at 2am doomscrolling? Also cope harder. Neutral by design, it works on everyone, including you.
Why neutral humor wins
Political comedy that picks a side halves its audience. SwearGiggle's Politics Pack roasts the experience of politics — the disconnect, the hypocrisy, the promises, the meltdowns — so voters on every side recognize themselves in the joke. No party named. No candidate singled out. Just the universal feeling of watching people in nice suits explain why the rules don't apply to them.
That's why these phrases get shared across the aisle instead of starting fights in the comments.
Get the full set
Those five are a teaser. The full Politics Pack has 73 ballot-approved cusses — from mild ("Hack!") to Lil' Spicy ("FAFO!") — each playable out loud with a funny voice and a synced visual reaction, and each shareable as a dare to your most opinionated friends.
It's $0.99, one-time, politically neutral, and ready for the January 3rd swearing-in.
Already a Premium subscriber? The Politics Pack is included in your subscription — no extra purchase needed.
Got a phrase that belongs in here? Every country has its own way to say it. Suggest one — we read every submission.
